Alright, alright, I give. You have all updated so I guess it is my turn. Lord knows I can not let you all go another day without my gems of wisdom cascading down upon you. Trouble is my life is not very exciting, so I have dug in the archives of my brain to come up with a few amusing things from my recent past that seem worthy enough to post for all to see, so here goes.
As many of you know, I spent the summer in Mexico and it was absolutely amazing and eye-opening. In fact it was so amazing and eye-opening that I shall now share some of the things I learned from my studies abroad.
1. I love Mexico.
2. It is perfectly acceptable for men to blatantly stare at you, whistle, and inappropriately comment on your physical appearance.
3. It is also perfectly acceptable for an old man to lift his shirt up over his beer gut and ask me to take a swim for him.
4. When men, particularly taxi drivers, are trying to chat you up by asking you where you're from, tell them you're from Canada because they will suddenly have nothing to say. No one knows a damn thing about Canada.
5. It is impossible to get a taxi between 3 and 4 pm.
6. When they say don't drink the water, they mean don't drink the water. Or eat food from stands on the street. Especially when the stray dogs that used to hang out by the stand mysteriously disappear. I'm serious.
7. If you get lime juice on your hands at the beach you will get second degree burns and end up at the crazy dermatologist's office who gives you a shot in your butt and then swears at you in English.
8. The sterotype that they like to shove as many people as possible in the bed of a truck is not a stereotype at all. It actually happens.
9. After a while phrases like "so I was passing the house with the cow tied to the tree on my way to the internet cafe" don't seem weird at all.
10. The house two doors down always had the distinct smell of marijuana coming from it which is only noteworthy because the only person who lived there was a little old lady.
11. Sometimes I fall down. Twice. In one day. Within a one hour period. In almost exactly the same spot.
12. Oxxo is the single greatest convenience store of all time.
13. Mexico is to old Volkswagen beetles what Boca Raton, Florida is to the elderly: the place where they come to die.
14. Mexican immigration officers will come on your coach bus and threaten to take all of you to jail for not having your visa with you, but only if they had a bigger truck.
