Are you pickin' up what I'm puttin' down?

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Did you hear what I heard?

Because this is a somewhat Christmas-related post, I thought I would start off with a Christmas-inspired title. Think "The Little Drummer Boy" written in past tense. But I digress.

Anyway, I was just informed that the 16-year-old girl who played Mary in that new movie "The Nativity Story" is pregnant. Out of wedlock. Oh the irony. I think I would claim immaculate conception. I mean, maybe she just got that into her role. Crazy. Oh Christmas.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

some thoughts i had today



disclaimer: the thought contained in the above thought bubble is much more entertaining than anything contained in the post to follow

things i thought today but didn't say out loud:

hey girl. yeah, you in the pink shirt. is that shirt new? i hope so cause you still have the price tag on it. however, you are walking much too briskly for me to catch up with you and i feel it innappropriate to yell something like this at you.

the library is supposed to be a quiet place to work. why in the hell are you doing very loud construction in the middle of the when you could wait 4 hours for everyone to be gone on break? what sort of construction device even makes a high-pitched squealing noise like that?

was that a bird that just ran into the window of the classroom?

who the hell smokes a cigar on their way to class?

the leaves are particularly crunchy as i walk through them today. delightful.

man i lead an exciting life.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Things that don't impress me

Hey creepy man in bar, here are a few portions of your conduct that I find less than impressive:
1. Your "sweet moves"
2. The fact that your favorite movie is "What About Bob?"
3. That you invite us to go with you to another bar, only to find out that said bar is less than a hundred feet from this bar.
4. Your "wingman" who has decided to gaze at me in a creepy manner
5. Your general demeanor
6. Your relentless attempts to make some kind of "genuine connection with another human being" by following us out of the door
7. Your failure to understand the meaning of the words "Hey buddy, why don't you just move right along?"

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Boat for Sale


Jennifer and I were discussing personal ads this evening when I made a startling discovery. Have you every noticed that personal ads sound almost exactly the same as people searching for other things? I mean, think about it. Things like "Hansome Young Businessman seeks Tall, Leggy Professional Woman" could easily be replaced with "Handsome young businessman seeks 40 foot yacht on which to throw extravegant parties and engage in general debauchery." I have since become convinced that many who write personal ads only do so because they were already halfway there from that ad they wrote last week looking for someone to come wash their windows or to find that prized Mickey Mantle baseball card they have been seeking out for some time now. Now I ask all of you next time you read your local newspaper or search on Craigslist to imagine what all of these "man seeking woman" types had actually originally written that particular ad for. I think you'll see my point.

And to end this post I will give you an example of a personal ad from Craigslist under the "missed connections" area that does not necessarily fit the prototypical personal ad but made us laugh extremely hard nonetheless:

Yo girl in the white chevy cav with the hipster cut

And there are many more where that came from.